The main symptom was that I thought I was dying again, dying of Aids, which wasn't totally irrational because I'd had a relationship with a bisexual man, but I'd had an Aids test which was negative. The fear might be rational, but what is irrational is the extent to which you feel it. I'd had an Aids test, so why was I still afraid? The last time I was properly delusional and thought I was dying was about eight years ago, when I was evicted from a flat - it's always at times of intense stress.
David Bell feels it is important to see psychotic breakdown as distinct from our normal understanding of a breakdown. There are many types of psychotic breakdown, but people tend to have altered experiences defined by losing touch with reality - having delusions and hallucinations and other strange experiences, like travelling on the bus and not thinking, "I hate it because I think they're looking at me" but "They are looking at me.
Key to understanding any sort of breakdown is understanding 'why'. Why Ian? Why Sarah? Broadly speaking, experts agree that breakdowns are caused by interaction of the external and internal. Massimo Riccio says that with mental illness, there is always a catalyst.
In other words, there is an interaction between internal vulnerability and an external event. In fact, according to consultant psychiatrist Dr Cosmo Hallstrom, 'All breakdowns are a function of three interacting factors: genetic vulnerability - what you're born with; then the way you've lived your life - your emotional robustness, and then an interacting event.
If you know your area of vulnerability, you might accept and acknowledge it, but some of us might find our weakness intolerable and try to avoid it. Some of the ways we cope with anxieties are positive and developmental, but others impose a restriction on our personality because they're rather rigid defences.
For example, a person might dread vulnerability and so pretend to their partner that they're self sufficient - in other words, they're always acting.
This would make them a very controlling person, so when a girlfriend or boyfriend leaves, in addition to the ordinary feelings any of us have, they might feel out of control, overwhelmed with anxiety and vulnerability, and they might break down. Sarah sees her breakdowns as 'a mixture of circumstance and genetics combined with a highly strung and nervous person; I was weak and also immature - give another person the same stress I had, and I think they would have dealt with it.
Ian Ewart, meanwhile, has traced the seeds of his breakdown directly to childhood. The fact is I'd had a crap upbringing. I always wanted to do creative things, but my father encouraged me into jobs in offices, and because he was a well-known solicitor I was under his shadow. I went in to the wrong line of work.
Now I know I will never get another office job, and it's such a relief. I do think it's wrong to try and pinpoint one cause of a breakdown, though, when it's often three or four, but in simple terms I would say that my inability to cope with work came from being mentally undermined by my past, which eventually lead to a breakdown.
Even when we've reached rock bottom, though, we don't always act in our best interests. It took Ewart several months to get to grips with his treatment properly, even after he'd accepted that he needed medication. I waited until the following morning to start and then I had a total freak-out because I thought I was having some sort of fit, which was all in my mind. With antidepressants, there's a period when you're still very ill before they kick in - you get panicky about side effects.
I think I exaggerated the side effects. Eventually my doctor changed the drug, but even then I wouldn't take the full dose. I took half a tablet for a month to six weeks, so I'd feel good for two or three days, but then have a setback where I couldn't leave the house or something. In the end my partner told me to stop being stupid and I went on the full dose.
Within a week, things had changed out of all recognition. Symptoms of anxiety which made me unable to take my son for a walk or go to the shops disappeared and my mood lifted. All the worries and anxieties that had been eating away at me were still present, but it was as if they had been pushed back a couple of metres.
I look after my son now for a few days of the week and freelance from home. Experts agree that it is never right to treat a major depressive episode solely with drugs. Riccio also feels that when it comes to treating mental illness 'there still isn't enough education, so while primary care physicians are educated about mental illness, they are not skilled enough at detection and there is still stigma.
The actual breakdown wasn't such a bad experience - I wasn't suicidal or a danger to others - so by far the worst thing about it was feeling so stigmatised.
When I was first diagnosed, they thought I might be schizophrenic, so I've had that hanging over me, even though another doctor had told me that I couldn't possibly be.
Still, the label of schizophrenia has been very, very stigmatising, and it has robbed me of a certain confidence. In terms of work, I've lost 10 years.
Sarah was treated - at various times - using both medication and therapy and nowadays feels 'just better able to cope. I've been in quite stressful situations since - I left my long-term partner and I've suffered as much stress since then as I did at the time of my breakdown - but I'm just better able to cope with it. You just think, "No, that time before when I thought I was dying I wasn't dying"; you can think your way out of it rationally.
While no one would recommend a breakdown, David Bell certainly feels that with the appropriate treatment, they can at least be viewed as an opportunity.
A well-managed breakdown can give the person an opportunity to really understand what went wrong. Similarly, Massimo Riccio tells his patients that if they are able to deal with a breakdown successfully it is possible that they will come out the other side a better person. Ian Ewart remembers reading Dorothy Rowe.
Not getting appropriate support at and from work can delay your recovery. If you find yourself constantly stressed at work, you may even have to consider getting another job — if at all possible. However, I can imagine that the very thought of changing jobs right now makes you shudder for a number of reasons. Read what Doris Lessing discovered when trying it out for herself.
Please, hop over to my article on the signs of an abusive relationship or take a look at my abusive relationship test. This list is by no means complete, there may well be other factors that have contributed to your breakdown.
For example, a natural disaster, a war, a shooting or another personal crisis. All of the above takes time to heal. Usually, the worst feelings start to subside within one to three months — depending on whether or not the trauma is ongoing. Then there comes a fairly long period of gradual overall recovery with lots of ups, downs and periods of stagnation. Self-hypnosis, with the help of a professional audio download, is a user-friendly, affordable and — above all — effective way to help you feel better fast.
Discover how it can work for you and which specific download would suit you most — see my page Hypnosis FAQ and Downloads. For more information on how long a nervous breakdown lasts, hop over to my article How long it takes to recover from a nervous breakdown.
One of the best actions to take is to connect with an online counsellor whom you can contact every day if you need to for a very reasonable monthly fee in comparison with finding one local to you. The speed of recovery depends on:. I know you can do this Anxiety is a common problem, but what causes it, and how can we manage it? Here, find some practical tips for managing and treating anxiety. Stress affects us all, but it may do more than disrupt our sleep or cause a headache.
In this Spotlight, we explore some of the less recognized health…. A look at emotional eating when people use food to cope with emotions, such as stress. Included is detail on the causes and common triggers to avoid. What are the signs of a nervous breakdown? Medically reviewed by Marney A. Share on Pinterest. Treatment and prevention. Causes and risk factors. When to see a doctor. Related conditions. Exposure to air pollutants may amplify risk for depression in healthy individuals.
Costs associated with obesity may account for 3. Related Coverage. PTSD: What you need to know.
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