He gives Bond assignment to kill Gogol in Tangiers. Bond is less than enthusiastic. M asks why. Originally in the treatment there was no opening scene in Gibraltar and M refers to an agent killed in Athens.
They then decided to have an agent killed in Gibraltar in the opening sequence. A piece of paper covers over this. It was found with the body of Double-0 Six in Gibraltar. Bond reads note aloud. Death to spies. It was pure luck that Koskov made it. He is giving Bond this assignment as a chance to rehabilitate himself.
Bond replies Records have been unable t0 identify girl as associated with KGB despite the accurate description he gave them. M asks if he has lost his nerve or willingness to accept Double-0 work. That happens sometimes. He can find Bond a suitable desk job in the Service and put someone else. Our first major coup in years, snatched from right under our noses by the KGB, only hours after he defected. M Nothing. He takes a file from his desk drawer and hands it to Bond.
It is sealed with a band of black tape. BOND breaks the seal and opens it dubiously. Gogol should be in Tangiers in two days. BOND picks it up.
That sniper for instance. You jeopardized the entire mission to avoid shooting a beautful girl. M Revulsion with ones occupation. It happens to undertakers, butchers, even priests. Easier for him. M Alright. Have Transport arrange your flight. See Q before you go. He has one or two things for you. A few edits were made for the FINAL scene, notably Gogol became Pushkin, the accidie line was dropped altogether, and the scene cuts off when Bond agrees to do the mission.
Start late, finish early. The Doctor is British. Hate to have the window close unexpectedly. Got a Husband? Loser, lackey lover? Beastly place. Estrogen benders. The women are all absolutely bonkers. Nobody likes a crybaby. Go set that snug little hoo-hoo free. She swipes at her tears, looks at him.
He smiles with his terrible teeth. Then again, I am American. And from California. Brits and the like might find it ridiculous or over the top. Or ridiculously over the top. Still funny, even after a second read! Comedy is incredibly difficult to write. Are you, like, from the Valley? That is SO awesome. My girlfriend and I we are, like, so going to the mall this weekend.
Etc, etc. Good stuff. So I would change if you wanted to! As it is, i could imagine this character being played by the lovely Jim Piddock, but I think with a rewrite it might make for more of a John Cleese or Hugh Laurie study them, study them closely.
If used with sexual connotation, would be more a gal than a guy that would say it. Readies is a little outdated term. More working class also. Have you got the readies?
Ask away, old Sock. Is something that an old upper class person would say. Working class also. Beastly place—definitely middle-upper class. Same with absolutely bonkers. Both fine. Great notes. Honestly, I thought I had nailed it. Need to do my homework. Thanks for the feedback. Here he is again. What do you think? This is more of chat up, a get to know you. Take a seat, Darling. No obvious health issues, besides being — horrible smile Delightfully chunky?
Sexually active? On the pill? What birth control do you use? Come on, old girl. Pop up on the table. The context is most important not some specific words a person says. But in everyday lingo, no surgeon would call a patient darling just as presumably no U.
The comedy should come from the context. There is no context in your scene at the moment, so the actual words you use are irrelevant. You need some dramatic irony in the scene to make it work. I see what you mean. It might make more sense and solve authenticity issues if I just have him fake the British accent. Thanks, Jack. Made me laugh to read it. The fact that you are mixing different class slang makes it more the funnier.
Unless there was a solid reason why the person changed the way they spoke then it would come across as bad writing. If the English guy was a con artist or something you could get away with different brogues, bar that— it would just come across as atrocious. Vocabulary and speaking with an accent are two different things. The doctor in this scenario would speak with a consistent British accent whichever one was chosen but mix his regional euphemisms. And all of those phrases would have a different accent.
And I think you have picked regional sayings that are more esoteric than the examples Steph Jones was using. Yeah I get you bro, but Steph was asking would the vocab she used sound authentic. I get the fact about using stereotypical English, but in order for it to be authentic you have to be aware of the class differences in vocab. I was presuming Steph was asking because she wanted to improve.
Since, none of them are Aaron Sorkin, it comes off ridiculous. The most entertaining characters on that show are contestants with their own personality like Yuki and Corrine, who are just coming up with their own lines.
I call it Blockbuster Dialogue. Great point! I want my first scene to be just that, a first scene. And I want the audience to figure the story world and rules out for themselves instead of just dumping it on them with some lazy, voice-over opening. I had no clue what the characters wanted or who they really were because there was nothing honest about their words. But those lines without a context around them is meaningless.
Really nail your character wants and the contexts that you put them in. If you look at scripts like Airplane! When working with sci-fi or fantasy, there needs to be a lot of exposition, but it needs to be personal to the character saying it. It needs to have meaning and depth and justification.
Forget everything you know that comes after that movie or before it and the words alone tell a really interesting story very briefly. It is almost pure exposition but it is worded just right to allow a performance to carry it along.
The scene goes back and forth. There is one line towards the end of the second act that does a lot. It really is pure exposition but has much more to it. Kirk, and his team being stranded inside Regula 1 sits alone with Dr. Carol Marcus. How do I feel? Old… worn out. One thing we writers forget is that when we start out, we repeat a lot more of what we here than we care to admit.
I grew up in a family where there was no subtext. As a result it was very hard to keep a secret. Everyone said what was on their mind and there was a lot of arguments as a result.
I remember my ninth grade writers craft teacher commenting that nobody talks the way I wrote in a short story I submitted. I then played him the tape recording I copied the story off of for him and he quickly recanted his criticism.
Having traveled a significant portion of the world and eavesdropping as much as I possibly could, I have heard all sorts of ways people talk that would not fit in a script. People do not have the luxury of refining their speech at all times or in the heat of the moment and the result is some weird things coming out of their mouths. Write something fun. Nail your characters, nail your context, know your story and the words will flow the way they should.
Speaking of bad dialogue, I was forced to watch the Roland Emmerich flick 10, BC last night and yikes… talk about a script in desperate need of a complete dialogue overhaul.
Every last line could be attributed to one of the bad forms listed above, from the atrocious narration to the awful romance chatter. It looks fantastic but the dialogue is cheesier than a Philadelphia sandwich. But then Olympus Has Fallen a script that the writers spent years writing before selling was rushed into production. They have the time to rewrite their scripts. An amazing cast.
There were staging explosions at a nearby lake recently. Mega excited! If they want to say I love you, they say I love you. Noth8ng cliched about that. But you can always make it better. I honestly think the best way to improve your dialogue is to read plays. All types. Dialogue is essentially its own entity in the writing world. It exists in all forms of our universe from graphic novels to theatre to film to books. Totally agree… but will just mention, films are NOT plays.
Also, overly chatty amateur scripts. There is a difference between dialogue that works on stage and cinematic dialogue IMO. IF you are good at one, it is a transferable skill BUT you will have to work at it to get it right. Biggest problem is that most modern plays can just be two or four people on one set talking. No story. They ARE stories. Need to practice storytelling. Maybe why not as many playwrights end up as screenwriters.
On screen, an actor can say so much with the raising of an eyebrow. Playwrights need to be aware of the possibilities of screenwriting when transferring across. Mcqueen refused to handle exposition. I want to be the guy who knows. I have read that the man with no name was originally pretty talkative.
It was Eastwood who suggested cutting the dialogue. Bravo, Scriptshadow! Had no idea Stoppard worked on Last Crusade. Do that, learn how to use dialogue in an effective manner and implement these tools into your scripts. But you can certainly improve your dialogue and learn how the best do it by reading plays. I think people CAN learn dialogue, can get better at it. Most importantly, dialogue can be improved fr9m draft to draft, through rewriting.
I find my dialogue reduces from draft to draft. Entire sentences reduced to a single word or even a physical gesture or action. The choices we make are big part of that but more often than not it boils down to our characters and the way our characters perceive the world around them. All of them use their words in a way that expresses their personality and viewpoint.
A writer initiated that process in all 3 with their own voice. Others no doubt came in and revised but will have kept that tone. Checkout Girl: Next. Checkout Girl: Checkout Girl: Next! Real life speech is prolix, repetitive, circular, sententious, mostly ungrammatical, sometimes incoherent, and frequently pointless. An ear for dialogue is a talent a good bit more complicated than merely being able to write like people talk.
Definitely not. Then the audience will be sitting there thinking, why did I bother to buy tickets? I can hear the same stuff as this anywhere. I hope you guys know I was not at all being serious with this lmao. Obviously you should not carry around a tape recorder with you and spend all your time transcribing it, then using that as your dialogue.
Seems like there was discussion of it here some time back. I thought the first 1. Quibbles and potential spoilers…. The second guy they caught, who we thought might have something to do with the kidnappings…why did he come to the homes of the missing girls? Because he was at the vigil and just wanted their clothing? A red herring to be sure but a very strained one. And then why did he kill himself? He could obviously talk and be coherent, but they waited for hours watching him draw mazes as a way to find out where he had been held.
You might say he grabbed the gun of the officers who came in to help, but in another scene Loki is shown standing near an uncuffed suspect with his gun I believe. There were a few of these things that strained it for me toward the end. And why would Alex take a week of torture if he had nothing to do with it and not just say my aunt is responsible? Why did they never search his house when first suspected? He had no problem whispering something to Dover in the parking lot but after a week of torture he would give nothing up.
KSM gave up everything after waterboarding, and to my knowledge no one can withstand it, but this guy endures a week of this stuff and says little? Finally, saw the whistle way, way ahead of time, but it looked like police had been on scene for days, yet he never tried the whistle until everyone was gone and it was only Loki standing there.
Interesting observations. Ok, let me know your thoughts. And another one. Loki only luckily stumbled in at the right time—just at the very moment the aunt was going to kill the other.
A lot of this stuff made the latter half take away from what they had so magnificently set up. In the world of cheesy movies, plots are cookie cutters; the same story premise can be pulled out of the drawer and used over and over again.
While it can feel impossible to come up with a plot that has never been thought of before, just remember that there is always room for a unique spin on a story premise. Use the existence of tropes and preconceived ideas to surprise the audience with a new take on your story. One of the telltale signs of a cheesy movie plot is glaring predictability. If an audience member can watch the first ten minutes of a film and predict the rest of the movie, there is a serious writing flaw.
Of all the sins of bad movies, there is one that stands out above the rest: failure to satisfy. This dissatisfaction is tied directly to the plot. A dissatisfied audience is the result of something fundamentally wrong with the delivery of the story. The writer did not deliver what was promised. Possible causes for dissatisfaction are:. Cheesy movies do not take the time to ask the fundamental question: have the issues which prompted the story been resolved? As long as there are good movies, there will always be bad movies.
The truth is, without the cheesy films which litter the market, we would not appreciate the true classics as much as we do. The next time you have the misfortune to take in a cheesy movie, make a mental note to avoid its fallacies in your own writing.
Pierre took a second look in the oven. There was no mistaking it—something was wrong with the catfish. Pierre turned on his heel and looked back into the eating area. Chef Etien was still chatting casually with the food critic. He shoved it back toward Claude. Claude trembled over to the oven and looked inside while Pierre finished dialing. Pierre punched the call button and waited. Claude leaned against the door frame.
Pierre looked back through the window into the eating area again. What seems cheesy to me, may cause you to weep and hug your girlfriend tight. Things done or said to someone which may make someone feel special or loved while others who see or hear these would be like : "eeww go get a room " Things done or said that would make other parties feel the goosebumps. John: You are the love of my dear life Jacki : Awwww, stop that! That Celine Dion song is so cheesy. Low quality, cheap, inauthentic , crappy; fake.
From cheese cloth , the thin cheap fabric used to drain cheese curd , and in the past sometimes used instead for proper cloth in cheap clothing. While feeling the fabric of a shirt on the rack "This one feels a little cheesy.
Something that is unintentionally kitschy , tacky , or of poor quality, but these flaws go unnoticed by the admirers of said thing. Something that was popular at some point in the past, but that now seems lame in retrospect.
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